Oh snap, this is the first and last time I will give props to TMZ.

Being a tease is nearly as fun as being a huge slut but much more respectable. Sounds like a fair trade to me!

Your brain is right, please stop calling. It makes you look desperate. 

They obviously have not met my ex.

Ummm… hey all you mothers out there, at the very least I would expect you to teach your daughter that when a penis penetrates your vagina, you’re having sex. I thought that was kind of a given but I guess not. 

If you’re wearing a orange knitted suit, that’s game over. I’m not going to lie though, I am pretty impressed with your skills. Grandma has nothing on you. 

… but unfortunately no one else feels the same way :)

Nicorette for fundamentalist Christians. 

Wow that’s heavy. He still seems pretty pissed off though.